


I don't wanna know

by Levis_turtles



Series: Billdip Drabbles (the most original title!!!) [4]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M, Pining Pine Tree, Pizza Boy Bill, Pizza Delivery Guy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:18:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4715867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levis_turtles/pseuds/Levis_turtles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a prompt I saw on tumblr, Bill is a pizza guy and Dipper keeps requesting him because "the pizza is warmer when he delivers it" ha. ha. we know the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't wanna know

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read through this, it was written in under half an hour, if it sucks I am sorry.

Three quick taps against the Mystery Shack door was all it took for Dipper’s heart to start racing in his chest. He had scrambled off the couch and made it half way to the door before Mabel could even think of answering it herself, and he breathed a sigh of relief when she simply grunted and moved in the opposite direction of the door to grab herself another drink from the kitchen.

Dipper saw the shock of bleach-blond hair through the window above the lintel of the door, and he took a deep breath to steel himself. He schooled his face into an expression of nonchalance, urging the blood in his cheeks to go anywhere else, and pulled open the door.

“Heya Pine Tree!” The pizza boy greeted him kindly. “Your sister’s back in town, I see,” he said cheerily, fishing around in his thermal pizza-cosy thing for the boxes. Grinning when his fingers found purchase on a box, he pulled it and the rest of them out and handed them to Dipper.

“Yeah, she flew in this morning.” He answered. It was a total lie, of course.

Dipper had had a crush on The Pizza Guy – Bill – for a while now. And by a while, he meant just over a year. Dipper had started requesting that this man be the one to deliver his food after he began to notice that Bill was the only one who managed to deliver the pizza while it was still hot. A short while after that, he had noticed that he looked forward to those knocks on the door a little too much. And by the time he fully understood exactly what was happening to him, he was part-taking in rigorous flirting matches that left him blushing, grinning and giddy.

It had gotten to the point where Dipper was ordering at least one pizza a week, and he and Bill were on such good terms that they knew and used each other’s first names – well, Dipper did, anyway. Bill insisted on calling him ‘Pine Tree’, he guessed because of ‘Pines’. Eventually, though, the inevitable occurred and Bill asked him why he ordered so many pizzas. _“Because I think I love you,”_ being the first answer than sprang to mind, Dipper decided to lie and say,  _“Because my sister travels for her work, so every time she comes back from a trip we order a pizza.”_ And there it was, a farce that he had to fight tooth and nail to keep up with, sent into the world, never to be taken back. Of course, he could take it back. He could even tell another lie and say that Mabel wouldn’t be going on business trips anymore, and the problem would be solved. But then he’d either have to stop seeing Bill so often or think of another excuse for why he was still ordering so much pizza.

Dipper handed Bill the money, and he grinned that grin that Dipper liked to believe was only for him, though he knew deep down that it wasn’t. “So,” Bill began, pocketing the note as he knew by now that Dipper would never accept change. “When do I get to meet this sister of yours? I’m starting to wonder if she even exists!” He laughed at this, and Dipper tried to, feeling a rush of heat go straight to his cheeks.

“Uh…” Dipper started, desperately trying to think of what to do. If he called on Mabel to come and meet Bill, there was no doubt she would easily charm his socks off and Bill would like her way more than he liked him and then Mabel would take his place answering the door and then she and Bill would start dating and- he stopped himself there. Turning to look over his shoulder, he called his sister’s name. “Mabel!” He would simply tell her that he liked Bill, and then she’d stay away, and everything would be okay. He shook that thought from his head pretty quickly, too. He couldn’t interfere. There was every chance that Mabel and Bill were soul mates, destined to be together, and he was selfishly thinking of standing in their way. _Mabel was right_ , he thought darkly, _I really do go crazy when I like someone._

“Yeah!” Mabel answered from the kitchen, her head poking around the doorframe. “Sup bro?”

“Come and meet Bill!” He called back, and she frowned, glancing down at her joggers and baggy t-shirt before shrugging and coming anyway. When Mabel reached the door, Dipper stepped out of her way, letting her stand in front of him. “Bill, this is Mabel, my one-hundred-percent real sister.”

Bill grinned when he saw her. It may have been a figment of his imagination, but for a second he thought that it wasn’t as bright as the one that he believed was reserved for him. “You didn’t tell me you two were twins, Pine Tree!” He took Mabel’s hand in his and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, and Mabel giggled.

“Dip-Dop, who _is_ this?” She asked, looking at her brother over her shoulder with a light blush on her cheeks. When she saw the way Dipper looked past her at Bill, a cloud over his eyes, she blinked. She wondered if she had imagined it, but after a few more blinks she realised that no, she really hadn’t. She supressed a squeal. “How do you know my brother?” She asked, addressing Bill without looking at him.

Bill grinned, “Well, Piney here is in love with me,” he said, leaning back against the porch pillar, “he just hasn’t realised it yet. But he will.”

Dipper’s heart stuttered at that, all of the blood rushing out of his face before even more of it rose back up. He scoffed, “In your dreams, maybe.”

Bill chuckled, “Ooh, Piney. Fighting talk. I _like_ it!” He grinned when Dipper blushed, then looked back to the boy’s sister, who was almost as red as her brother. “So, Shooting Star, does your brother have a girlfriend?”

She blinked, focus flitting from him to Dipper and back again. In the half a second that she had eye contact with her brother, they seemed to have had a whole conversation, as she was sure of herself when she said, “No. He doesn’t really like girls. He doesn’t have a boyfriend, either, though.”

Bill smirked, eyes panning back to Dipper with a glint of mischief and something else in them. “Is that so?”

Mabel squeaked at the look in the blond’s eyes, and she turned on her heel, striding quickly into the house, pizza in hand. She’d seen porn before – she knew what that look meant. Kicking the door shut behind her, she locked her brother outside, a two-inch wooden barrier separating her innocent movie night from whatever the pizza guy had planned. 

Dipper frowned when his sister walked through the door, and nearly body-slammed Bill in haste to get away from it when it started to close on him. Bill brought his hands up to steady him, even though Dipper was perfectly balanced already, and he felt heat rush to his shoulders, the skin where Bill was touching him beginning to burn. Glancing behind him, Dipper furrowed his eyebrows, “Wow. She’s never done _that_ before.” Dipper shrugged the hands away from his shoulders, backing up to lean against the frame of the closed door with a sigh. “Anyway, that was my sister. She’s pretty great, actually. I knew as soon as I met you that you and her would get along. _And_  by the look of it she’s- what are you doing?”

While Dipper had been rambling, Bill had been stepping slowly closer. Dipper had been staring down at his feet, so focused on keeping his voice steady that he hadn’t noticed the black shoes toe-to-toe with his own until there was a finger hooked under his chin, tugging it upwards. Bill gently raised Dipper’s chin, pushing it up until dark brown eyes stared into his own, bewilderment and curiosity shining brightly in their depths.

Dipper gulped when he saw how close to Bill he was. He had some personal space issues, and he hadn’t pegged Bill as the kind of guy that would just randomly invade his bubble. He blinked at Bill, his expression one of complete confusion, and Bill laughed, his breath ghosting over Dipper’s skin. “It’s funny how dumb you are,” he said.

And then they were kissing.

Bill’s eyes were closed tight, his hands sliding down Dipper’s arms to hold on to his elbows as he pressed him against the wall. A light blush had risen to his cheeks, hidden by his dark skin, and he held his breath as he waited for Dipper to push him off. When he never felt the push against his shoulders or the abrupt turn of a head, he sighed, relief relaxing his body. A warm glow burned beneath his hands, and every other part of him that touched Dipper, and he found himself wondering why he'd waited so long to do this.

Dipper’s eyes, however, were wide open, staring at Bill with even more confusion than he'd had before. With his back and elbows pinned to the wall behind him and a lankly leg between his own, he really had nowhere to run. Bill's lips were hot on his own, the hands on his bare skin even hotter as blunt fingernails dug into it. He was sure that there was a logical explanation for all of this, he just had to figure it out. In his room. After he took a shower.

Dipper shifted his weight, his leg rubbing against a part of Bill that he didn't want to think about, and Bill moaned against his lips.

Dipper gulped. A _long_ shower.

Not sure what to do with the tongue prodding gently at his lips, Dipper figured he should probably lean to the side and try his best to escape. Of course, he didn’t expect Bill to follow him. Nor did he expect the front door to not be shut as tight as he had thought. He _definitely_ didn’t expect to end up lying on the floor of the shack with a confused blond lying on top of him and a disapproving brunette shaking her head at him from across the room.

Figuring that Mabel was probably his most immediate threat, Dipper arched his neck to look at her, ignoring the way Bill had started nibbling on it. “I can explain,” he said.

She shook her head, rising to her feet with a box of pizza in hand, “I don’t think I want to know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'm sorry I couldn't be a little more descriptive with the kissing, but to me a tongue feels like those cooked strawberries at the bottom of an asda trifle, so I decided to spare you from whatever the hell I managed to come up with. Also I start back at school tomorrow - Year 11, yes!! - so I'll probably be updating fics more often since some semblance of structure with be returned to my life. Thank you for reading, I love you and you look great today <3 ;)


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